The Ends of the Ham

I heard this story a few months ago and although I might not get every detail correct, I think you can appreciate the lesson that can be learned from it.

One day a mother was teaching her daughter how to cook and it just happened to be Christmas so they were preparing to make a Christmas ham. Now the mother got out the roaster pan and all the ingredients to put in with the ham. She started the oven to get it to the proper temperature. Then she took the ham out of the refrigerator and began to prepare it for cooking. She unwrapped it and washed it and then she did a most curious thing. She took out a sharp knife and cut about an inch off each end of the ham and threw the ends away! The mother then proceeded to put the ham into the roaster pan and finish seasoning or basting or whatever else the recipe called for.


But at that time, the daughter asked her mother, "Why did you cut those pieces off the end of the ham?" The mother thought for a few minutes and said, "Well, I don't really know, I've never thought much about it because that's the way my mother taught me to do it." Then the daughter asked, "Why do you think Grandma does it that way?" Mother thought about it some more, "I don't think I know, but now I am curious, so let's call her and ask."

So the two of them called Grandma and asked the same question, "Grandma, why do you cut the ends off a ham before putting it in the oven?" Grandma thought intensely for a while then said, "You know, I've done it that way so long that I can't remember why. But I am certain that is the way my mother taught me to prepare a ham. Maybe when we pick her up and bring her to Christmas dinner tonight we can ask her."

The day went on and guests arrived for dinner, among them was Great-Grandmother. So now Great-Grandmother, Grandma, Mother and Daughter were all together in a room and the daughter recounted the day's curiosity about preparing the ham. Then the big finale, "Great-Grandmother, what's the purpose of cutting the ends off the ham before putting it into the oven?"

Now, Great-Grandmother pondered this with a thoughtful look and finally said, "Well, I don't know why you girls do it, but when I was younger, I had a small oven and only one roaster pan that would fit into it so to make the ham fit into the pan, I had to trim the ends a bit. But later on, I got a new cook stove with a larger oven, like the ones you all have. I bought a larger pan and there was no need to trim the ham anymore.

At that, they all shared a laugh and enjoyed a great Christmas dinner (now knowing the secret of the shortened ham).

I think this story is funny and we may all have similar stories of traditions passed from generation to generation. Many of those practices, over time, lose their meaning because we teach the "what" but not the "why". And it only takes one teaching generation to lose the "why" and all future generations have forever lost the understanding.

Our kids are watching and learning from us daily and if we don't take the time to teach them properly, we may transfer practices but not the reasoning. I think in most cases, the reasoning or meaning behind the practice is more important than the practice itself.

Kids don't just learn from us, they are conditioned to think certain ways by their teachers. They are trained to desire specific things by commercials and their friends. Behaviors are influenced by characters on TV. I guess you could say this learning is not limited to kids even as adults we often find our behaviors changing in reaction to our surroundings, experiences, friends, etc.

I have to wonder, if we know that people are shaped by the things they see in others or on TV or from any number of sources, why don't we let our kids see us praying, reading the Bible, serving others in need, or doing things that draw us closer to God? I mean, really, we think nothing of letting our kids see us get angry or play a game. Sometimes we don't consider the content of movies or shows we let our kids watch. What about the times we are talking negatively about someone else and our kids are in the next room hearing every word we say?

What are we teaching our kids? What are we conditioning others to do by our actions? Are we living the love of Jesus? Are we teaching the importance of having a personal relationship with Him? Are we being an example to those around us? What legacies are we passing on to our kids? Must we wait for a curious generation to ask us why we do what we do before we rediscover the meanings behind our actions?